Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Our answered prayer

On July 25, I started to cramp really bad. It started to keep me up all night. By Monday morning, 3am, I asked Jasper to take me to the ER. We were checked in by this corky Filipina nurse who was very hyper. She reminded Jasper and me of Ate Emma. The doctor asked if I could be pregnant, and I said, "Actually yes, I'm on Clomid." They took blood and did some ultrasounds on me. They also gave me some pain meds for the cramping. Jasper sat by my side and kept me lighthearted. I closed my eyes while he watched t.v.. He envied my score with the bed, and I told him he had to be in serious medical pain to get something like this, and gloated about how comfy I was. Typical loving married couple banter.

Finally, the doctor came back and told me that the concern was that I was having a ectopic pregnancy. The ultrasound showed a mass near my fallopian tube, and there was no sign of anything growing in my uterus. The cramping was also a common sign of ectopic pregnancy. But after speaking to my gyno, he realized that since my bloodwork shows very low quantities of my hcg hormones it could be too early to tell. Jasper and I were stunned. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with that info. I nodded my head like, ok...He said my gyno would be here shortly. He left and Jasper and I looked at each other like, what does all that mean? When he came back, I had to ask, "so...am I pregnant or a little pregnant? too early to tell pregnant?" And he replied, "oh, your very pregnant, we just can't assume it's ectopic because your pregancy levels are still low which indicate that you are early in your pregnancy." Now we got it...

I didn't know what to think. I couldn't exactly be happy knowing that it probably wouldn't be a viable pregnancy anyway. I looked at Jasper and said" well we're pregnant" that's an interesting way to find out. Then the funny nurse came back and said, "well we are waiting for someone to take you into surgery." I didn't know about surgery. She said, "well you have an ectopic pregnancy so they have to remove it from your tube." I was very confused and explained to her what the doctor said. She went to verify and came back apologizing. I was scared that it was a sure deal, it being ectopic. But she just didn't get the latest news from my gyno. She said that I was going to get a laparoscopy so my gyno can get an actual look at what the mass was in my tube. The laparoscopy is when they make 2 incisions one in my belly button, and one above my pelvic area. There's a camera that goes in and takes pictures of what's inside. I got moved to the OR area, and there I met with my gyno and the anesthesioligist. My gyno informed me of what the risks were and what she may have to do. If it was ectopic, she would have to remove the egg, possibly one of the fallopian tubes. It definitely wouldn't be a viable pregnancy. I looked at Jasper and let him know that I was ok, and that we'd get through it. Then the anesthesiologist got me started as we were moving towards the OR, Jasper gave me a kiss and as my bed was rolling, I was out.

I woke up and I was in another room. I remember dreaming and confused about what was going on. A nurse came by and right away told me that I was still pregnant. It took a while for everything to click then I was surprised and relieved. Jasper came and we got discharged that day.

Ugh, the aftermath of the anesthisia was horrible. I threw up on the way home, threw up that afternoon. I was soooo nauseated for 2 days. My throat was sore from the tubes I didn't know were down my throat during surgery. It was miserable. Jasper's mom came by and helped nurse me when Jasper had work. Nancy took me to my doctor appointments.

The mass was actually a pregnancy supportive cyst which was good. And there was no sign of the egg being in my tubes so far. There was some fluid in my abdomen which may have been there due to the overactivity of my ovaries because of the Clomid. My gyno later told me that we would have to play the waiting game. Until she saw a sac or heard a heartbeat, I was high risk, and I was on pelvic rest. No work, no jumping, running, or bouncing. She said no motorcycles, and I laughed and told her that should be easy. Up until my 6th week, I was still having occasional cramping. I found that sleeping on my side helped out at night. Then the nausea hit, and the cramping stopped. But I began morning sickness which lasted all day/night. By week 10, I got an ultrasound and I saw the sac, and heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was amazing. So loud and fast just as it should have been. God has definitely answered our prayer.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Waiting for You

I went to see a gyno. She suggested I get started on Clomid 50 mg 1xday for 5 days. I also needed to start using an ovulation kit. The first month I tried Clomid, it didn't work...Then on June 29, 2008 I started menstruating. My Clomid dosage was upped to 50 mg 2x a day. Meanwhile, I was feeling frustrated because everytime I started testing for ovulation I kept getting a big fat NEGATIVE! I cried a lot, I threw fits a lot (not like me at all.) I got through the last day where ovulation was most likely to happen, and I got another negative. That night, Jasper went to sleep early, and I cried and decided to speak to Jesus. I started off by studying the book Psalm, starting with Psalm 86 and was reminded of the praise our God deserves through the good and bad. I realized that I was making all of this about me, and not about the One who had the power and insight to give me what I wanted when He knew it would be the right time. I asked him for patient heart. The very next morning, I got a positive for ovulation on cycle day 18.

When we knew we were ready

I grew up in a big family. When I was about 11, my cousin, Ate Grace came to live with me, my sister Diane, and my parents. She was pregnant. When she gave birth, I was given lots of opportunities to take care of the baby, and I loved it. Babies are so cute and loving. From then on I knew I just loved kids. Until this day, everytime I see one at church I'm smiling at them. If we're in an elevator I'm trying to make some stranger's baby laugh. So I guess you could say I've always known I wanted kids.


When my husband Jasper and I got married on December 16, we knew that we needed to be in prayer for God's direction in family making. See, I have PCOS. Or atleast symptoms that would suggest I have it. Very infrequent periods, and multiple cysts in my ovaries. After a year of being married, I got very concerned about the probability of getting pregnant, especially as I got older. I brought it up to Jasper and we agreed that since we knew we both wanted a family we wanted to get started. It was about April of 2008. I was relieved to hear that Jasper was ready. I figured, it would take a while to get pregnant right?